The recent flare up over the military policy of "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" has been both revealing and encouraging - on many levels. Two recent articles on the topic have taken somewhat unique angles on the issue.
James Carrol, in his October 5th column, "Behind the folly of don't ask don't tell", didn't just rehash the usual moral objections and ritualized hypocrisy of the policy. He actually tried to clear up some History. And of course, anyone who tries to do that - and succeeds - will always get my attention.
Carroll reminds us that it was actually the Military brass that brought this issue at the advent of the Clinton administration. Just as they have done recently, they clearly stated that gays do serve in the Military and that the country should get their act together, get over it, and let them serve openly. They said this in the '90's and they are saying it now. Carroll correctly points out that it was the conservative congress (yes even the democrats) that wanted to hold the line on this issue. They pushed it on the country, framed it as something the military did not want and could not function with, and leveraged the issue to paint Clinton as out of touch with the testosterone infused military we all want to believe in. You know, the one that Colonel Jessup tried to sell us (You don't want the truth! You can't handle the truth!)
Well as it turns out, especially in the age of dwindling recruits, the military does want us to know the truth and thinks we can handle the truth. And the truth is that having gays serve openly will be liberating. Carroll reminds us, as many do, that when the military was desegregated, the military followed orders. What he didn't remind us of however, was that even though the military desegregated it remained - on many levels - a place where racist, sexist, homophobic, and religious slurs could be used to make fun of, ridicule, berate, and demean any minority group you could possibly identify.
Now as much as I don't like the fact that this is the way the military often motivates (breaks down to build up) troops, and is something I would like to see changed, you can see how, in the context of the this issue, "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" just didn't make sense. People knew they were serving side by side with lesbians and homosexuals. And just like in the rest of society, they often had to guess about sexual orientation (because not everyone is "out") and they often voiced their suspicions openly, loudly and with general acceptance, regardless of any real knowledge about the target. What the military was simply saying - in the '90s and this month - was that we know some of us are gay and we are actually ok with it - or to be more precise - some of us like them and some of us hate them, but how is that any different than the blacks, jews, mexicans, puerto- ricans, etc.
Again, I hope people are reading this knowing how much I hate that what we pay lip service to stopping in our school hallways and sports fields is actually a way of life in the military. That battle will take a little longer to fight, but until then, some very intelligent and rational people are saying, lets just have everyone serve - what we do to them after that is another story - the real don't ask don't tell. Plus, once people are out, just think how much fun and "OK" it will be to be made fun of and demeaned as a "Real"homosexual" as opposed to someone we just all think is a little feminine and we like making fun of.
The tongue in cheek approach is so prevalent here because of how ironic I think it is that people are fighting so hard to be open about their sexuality knowing exactly how much heat they will get for it - again - just like every other minority group. But how wonderfully American is that? Equal opportunity to be demeaned and ridiculed for who you are - as long as you get treated equally along those lines. I think this is essentially the on going punch line of "Rescue Me" and Dennis Leary's stand up comedy - and Howard Stern for that matter. But it is also much of America - people not really loving each other - for rediculously superficial reasons - yet being close in many other ways because of the common mission, job, or bond they have found through being "in the trenches" with one another. This is the powerfully transformative nature of American life and it is about time more people are realizing the benefit of that instead of seeing the segregationist instincts that are so common on the reactionary right.
And speaking of the reactionary right - and the transformative power of America - another article on this issue also got me thinking. In Ellen Goodman's October 9th piece "The Texas two step on gay-divorce" she thoroughly enjoys relating how, in the midst of the tide of states acknowledging gay marriage, Texas finds itself in the awkward position of SUPPORTING GAY MARRIAGE. Yes, that is correct. In Texas, they are battling a state court decision that would allow gay DIVORCES in other states to be recognized in Texas. How AWESOME is that! If you are married in a state where Gay marriage is legal, and want to dissolve that union in Texas, they will make you stay together. Granted, I am playing fast in loose with the legal arguments about consistency and precedent (you can't really acknowledge gay divorce if you are not acknowledging gay marriage in the first place), but you would think for just this kind of thing - the dissolution of something they find morally reprehensible - they would make an exception. I love it.
But to be honest, this article got me thinking about something else. What struck me more was that contrary to even five years ago, there is actually a tide moving more states toward acknowledging gay marriage. And why is that happening? Not necessarily because of strong grassroots efforts in the states that are now in play. I believe the tide is turning because of two things. One - the issue has NOT actually been placed squarely in front of the faces of people who are vehemently against it. Two - as my comments above suggest - and as Barney Frank often says - gay people got married and the world didn't end. This is really what I call the transformative power of America. This country can be changed kicking and screaming, or it can be changed as it was in its beginnings - a small group of brave leaders making bold changes and letting the rest of the country see that they can live with the change. They may not "love" everything about the change, but they can live safely, securely, and morally, even as others live a different lifestyle.
This is why more and more, on a very systemic level, I am becoming a huge fan of the "states rights" cop out - I mean argument. Seriously, I do think it is somewhat of a cop-out that what I find morally clear cannot simply be enacted by the federal government on everyone else. But implicit in that statement is the "everyone else." It may not be a perfect system - to let 50 somewhat arbitrary gatherings of people decide their own laws so that the country can gradually decide its own fate rather than all at once. But given our current culture and division of Red and Blue states, it may actually make more sense than many would believe. As I said, it is not perfect. And it does seem wrong in some ways when people thing moral absolutes are in place. But that sword cuts both ways and as a political junky, the imperfect but slow that still validates the rights of the other opinion, may actually be a brilliant system for change as opposed to a flawed system for maintaining the status quo.
Now let me be clear, I am not saying the hard work of activists generating support for the cause of LGBT rights are not important - because they are of vital importance. But the balancing of that work with the ability of America to reflect on gradual change has always been an amazing and potent combination. This is whey I am a "passionate moderate." There are people that say the change is too slow, some who say the change is too fast. But when I see articles like the one above, as much as I feel for those in other states who have not gotten their "change," I still see an America changing in a way that is long lasting, consistent, and respectful to those who deserve our patience - the other side. Change is difficult, but as Smokey Robinson said beutifully, "Change is gonna come!"
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